A Life Update: March 2026
I’ve been gone for a while, and I didn’t really know how to come back or where to start, so I’m just going to start at the beginning and tell you what happened.
At the end of July 2025, after years of trying, failed infertility treatment, and never getting an answer for why we had secondary infertility, I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned. We had actually stopped trying. My son had just turned five in May, and we had finally settled into the idea that he was going to be our only. He’s autistic, pre-verbal, and uses AAC, and our life had really shaped itself around his needs. We were okay with that. We felt like we were getting settled.
Then one night after a family dinner, I felt a little off. Nothing dramatic, just enough to make me check my period app. I realized I was about a week late, which wasn’t normal for me, and I happened to have a couple of tests at home that hadn’t expired yet. I took one, and it immediately showed two lines. I took another, and then another cheap one just to be sure, and all of them were very clearly positive. I remember just standing there feeling shocked. We were happy, of course, but I was also scared. After everything we had been through, I didn’t trust it yet and I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.
Because of our history with the fertility clinic, they let me come in early at six weeks to confirm the pregnancy. We were able to see a heartbeat at that appointment, and I cried because it felt real for the first time. I went back again at eight weeks and ten weeks, and everything kept looking good. At ten weeks I transferred to my regular OB, and I started to let myself feel a little bit of excitement. We told our families around eight weeks, and then we shared the news more publicly at thirteen weeks.
About a week after that, I got an inconclusive result on my NIPT blood test. I didn’t think too much of it at first, but when I repeated the test it came back high risk for Trisomy 21. I remember reading the result and just sitting there. I cried, and I was really scared. I already had one child with additional needs, and if I’m being honest, that fear of having another had always been in the back of my mind during our infertility. I let myself feel all of that for a few days. It was heavy.
From there, everything became more medical. We were referred to maternal fetal medicine and started having more detailed ultrasounds. At seventeen weeks they didn’t see anything major, but they did note an absent nasal bone, which is common with Down syndrome. By twenty weeks it was still absent. Her heart looked okay from what they could see at that point, which was reassuring, but during that scan they also saw what they called a double bubble, which indicated duodenal atresia. I had read about that, and I knew it meant she would need surgery after birth.
We were referred again, this time to a larger hospital with a level 4 NICU in the city. That added another layer of stress for me because I am not a city person, and I kept thinking about having to get there in the winter (weather in MD can be crazy) while very pregnant. Around that same time, my amniotic fluid started to get very high, which is common with duodenal atresia because the baby can’t process the fluid normally.
By around 26 to 28 weeks, we had a much clearer picture of her heart, and it looked good overall. They planned to confirm everything with an echocardiogram after birth, but that was a big relief for us. After that, it felt like we were just moving from appointment to appointment, waiting and watching and trying to make it to delivery.
At 33 weeks, I went in for a routine NST and ultrasound and they told me I was contracting, even though I couldn’t feel anything at the time. When they checked me, I was already 4 centimeters dilated. That whole experience felt surreal. My fluid was very high, which they said was probably why I couldn’t feel the contractions at first, but that changed pretty quickly. I ended up on magnesium for 48 hours so they could try to delay things long enough to give steroid shots for her lungs. That was one of the hardest parts physically. I couldn’t move, couldn’t eat, and just felt completely out of it - it was agony. I had to stay in the hospital for 5 days and ended up having an amniodrainage procedure where they drained 2 liters of amniotic fluid. Eventually things settled down enough for me to go home, but I was still 4 centimeters after the procedure and everything felt uncertain. We hoped to buy another week or two.
At 35 weeks exactly, I started having prodromal labor. I went in that day (Sunday) and was still 4 centimeters. I went back again that Tuesday evening and nothing had changed. We left the hospital at 2 a.m. By 9:45 a.m. I was back at the hospital and this time I was in active labor at 7 centimeters. I had to be wheeled up to L&D because at that point I couldn’t walk because of having contractions every 1-3 minutes. The epidural was *chefs kiss* and I was able to relax for a few hours. They checked me around 3ish and I was 9.5 centimeters. They called people in and had to break my water. Literal moments after they did that I was ready to push. I pushed for 12 minutes total. I got to hold my girl for 3 amazing minutes because NICU had not arrived yet because I was pushing so fast - so I got to hold her and we got a few photos with her before they took her to assess.
She had surgery at two days old to repair the duodenal atresia, and since then she has been in the NICU recovering. Her heart was indeed, just fine. Today is day 34 in the NICU, and her surgical recovery has gone really well. She is off oxygen now, which has been a big step forward, and all of our focus is on feeding. We are working on finding the balance between what she can handle through her NG tube and what she can take by bottle without overwhelming her. Her intestines just need time to adjust so they can absorb what they need to. It’s a slow process, but she is making progress, and we are hopeful that we will be able to bring her home in a few more weeks.
I think I stopped writing because I needed to be fully in this without trying to explain it while it was happening. There were a lot of moments that felt too big or too fragile to put into words. I’m still in it, but it feels a little more steady now, and I miss writing and sharing here.
So that’s where I’ve been.
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After years of unexplained infertility, I found out I was pregnant with a surprise baby. Weeks later, we received a Trisomy 21 diagnosis and duodenal atresia. This is our story from pregnancy through NICU life with Caroline and what the past months have really looked like.